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Valentine’s Resolution

February 14, 2009

This week, I was a guest on NPR’s Voices in the Family, where the topic was love and fairness. Some might wonder, what’s love got to do with fairness? But most listeners got it. Arguments over money, children, chores, sex and the in-laws come down to one word: Fairness. Because it takes feeling fairly treated to make love last. So for the real and enduring gift on Valentine’s Day, let’s resolve to become more fair minded. It’s not the grand gesture that wins the heart. It’s being kindly and fairly treated every day. It’s giving and receiving in balance. It’s caring enough to want to understand your partner’s perspective, not just have yours prevail. So Happy Valentine’s Day, love well, be fair.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. February 14, 2009 6:30 pm

    With Valentines Day our culture institutes tuning in to the heart. When we open our hearts to ourselves and to others, we have greater capacity for fairness. Jane Shure @ “The Doctor’s In” blog on

  2. February 16, 2009 1:48 am

    Looking over all the young faces in my restaurant on Valentines Day made me wonder about their relationships. How many would last a significant part of their lives? I believe fairness is the central issue for longevity in relationships but I realized watching how tentative and self conscious some of these kids are that perhaps it takes confidence and a feeling of being secure in order to be able to be fair. It’s easier to be fair if you feel secure about yourself and your partner.

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